Being a military veteran means living with memories which can't always be shared with family and friends, sometimes even not with other veterans.

Many have found ways to function OK in daily life, but are not able to sleep properly, have concentration problems, mood swings and other unwanted feelings, headaches, etc etc. Others battle with physical problems leading to habits other people don't understand.

The army chaplain who educated me in veteran care, Richard Stoffels SJ, said often: "Veterans are unique people. If you are able to see their uniqueness, they're the best people to deal with." And his wise advice: "Just be yourself."

After spending much time with them I can only underline how true his words still are.

But it's not about how I deal with them and how good I feel in their company.
For me it's how well they feel with themselves.

The first time I was called to support a veteran it was someone who had completely lost it. Returning from war and unable to sleep, he started to display behavioral problems, was kicked out of his home and marriage, and after years of alcoholism finally reached out and wanted to stop drinking.
He was kind of amazed he saw no grey man with glasses and a frowned forehead telling him what to do, but a red haired woman who brought him.... socks.
It was a symbol for him walking so long on his own and standing so long on his feet... and also of starting from the ground up... not somewhere in between.
Instead of arranging a referral to some clinic, he was asked to go to a hairdresser.
Completely unexpected! 
But it worked.... he saw himself in a different light and we talked about it.
I told him it would take years to feel complete again.. but with a few simple actions he would be able to make clear to the world and himself he was worth fighting for.
To make his story short(er): he went to the clinic with a friend to call, he could boast about his accomplishments and finally accept the honour he deserved for fighting for our peace and freedom.
He now is one of my best friends, and feels great and happy.
His motto: "Talk! Share! Without talking I would have died by now."

Being with veterans and photographing a lot with my little simple camera there are moments I often see someone turn in himself. Suddenly the world stands still for that person and the discussion and jokes around him fade.
I remember it from my dad.....

Know I'm there for you.. when you need someone to wink to, smile to, or talk to.
Sometimes it's good to know there is someone who cares.
And who won't be shaken by what goes on in your mind and in your memories.